Hyar it is so fur......
It was 1968...The Vietnam War was in full swing...The draft was taking kids from their homes and dropping them in a strange land...And on a Texas ranch a hard-working, plainspoken young boy was about to become a man...
CHAPTER 1
Walk Like A Man
GW was a saunterer. Most people said He sauntered, but GW always said it was
considered walking where He was from. He thought of His life as He walked toward the mansion where the rest of the Bush clan was gathered, waiting for his big announcment.
A natural born leader, GW had always sought out the road less traveled. He was skilled in many things, but restless and unmanageable. He had bested many of his teachers before moving on to others, where He would again dominate with his keen intelligence and brute physical strength. Finally, speechless, His many teachers had to let Him go, to the plainer places where He felt at home.
GW was not only an intellectual giant, nor just a man of steel. Despite His
abilities, GW was a man of the people. Many times, GW would jump into an old truck on the ranch, drive out to the prairie, and just cut brush all day long, tiring out the ranch hands, many of whom had been cutting brush for years. “How the Hell does He do it?” they would exclaim, as their own saws would wear out from the effort of keeping up. GW would just smile and keep on cutting, long after the rest had given up and gone home. Out there, it was just the brush and Him, and GW would never leave the brush uncut. It just was not in his nature to leave hard work for someone else to do.
GW always felt ill at ease in the family mansion with its manicured lawns, fancy chandeliers and man-servants. The family pool was filled with money instead of water, and his brothers Neil and Jeb would often spend their days lounging in it, chasing the loose women that came just to get a glimpse of GW, who was always too busy with manly endeavors to notice them. They were only simple floosies, with nothing to offer but vaginas. It would take a woman with a vagina and something more to slow him down. Something like the everlasting love of sweet sweet Jesus.You see, GW was also a religious boy. He realized early on that Jesus was the only true god, and that worshipping him required abstinence until marriage. Some nights GW would lie in bed, his evil member throbbing, begging to be released. He would fight the carnal urges by reciting bible passages in his head. “First Timothy 1:12, 2nd Corinthians 3:43”, and on and on until He slept. He would awake in the morning with renewed commitment to abstinence and nothing but. He remained chaste until He met his wife, who would receive His virgin load as God commanded.
On this fateful day, GW sauntered into the mansion with determination. He was about to tell the family of His plan. Always a keen student of world politics, GW realized unless America intervened, the Godless Communists would take Vietnam. GW had spent many nights laying awake thinking about how, if Vietnam fell, then the rest of the world would fall to Communism, like Dominoes almost. At least that was his theory. So GW had decided to join the Marine Infantry and fight for His country. He knew that his parents would not like the decision, but GW was not about to let a war go by without testing His mettle on the battlefield...it just wasn’t His nature...What would people say years from now if He did not volunteer? That He was a coward? That his Daddy got Him out of the fight by putting Him in some pussy champagne unit full of rich boys? Not if GW had anything to say about it, they wouldn’t.
GW walked in, kissed his mother deeply and began to speak....
CHAPTER 2
The Dick Also Rises
His name was Richard Cheney but everyone called him The Dick. They called him The Dick due to his habit of referring to himself in the third person. Well built, with a constitution of iron and thick lustrous hair, The Dick would have been quite the ladies’ man had he not been a follower of Jesus from early on. This Dick was saving himself for that one special girl, a girl that could understand the complicated nature of a man so comfortable with killing and yet so in love with life. During hunting season, after killing his share of deer, antelope, buffalo, ducks, rabbits, squirrels, groundhogs, mink, moose, and fish, The Dick would bring his haul in to the local trading post. People would see him riding into town and they would yell out, “The Dick is coming, The Dick is coming.”
The Dick was legendary for his shooting ability. He could peg anything from far away, barely glancing at the target. The Dick was constantly shooting. It was like an obsession with him. He spent so much time at the scope of his rifle that he developed a strange squint, almost making him look like he had only one eye. Early in the morning he would rise, wipe the sleep from his eye and grab his gun. Needless to say, something would die if ol’ one-eyed Dick had it in his sights.
When The Dick heard of the whole Vietnam thing, he realized this was his chance. America needed The Dick, and The Dick was ready. Years of shooting had led him to this moment. He could not let his country down...He had once before, but back then he was sooo tired and had a big day at work in the morning. The Dick vowed never again would he be caught limp, unready for battle...
The Dick walked into the Marine recruiter’s office and said, “The Dick is already a killing machine. Whatever you teach me will only enhance the amount of killing I can do. Please send me to the most dangerous part of Vietnam because I feel the need to test myself in the heat of battle.” The recruiter looked at The Dick and exclaimed, “By God, you are the bravest Dick in the land. We have just the assignment for you, with a small group of specialist commandoes we are putting together. Can you work in a team of killers like yourself?” The Dick just stood at attention and spit out, “Sir Yes sir!”
The Viet Cong had no idea that the tide turned against them that very day....
To Be Continued
